8 months and SPRING!

Spring is here! At least it has been for the last two days. We played outside after nap both days. Corbin loves it! Eliza is going to keep me on my toes while outside, as usual. She is going to be that kid with a mouthful of dirt. Every day I have to fish at least 2 gross things out of her mouth. Yesterday, an unidentifiable white thing, a fruit sticker, moss, and dirt. Today she tried to go for the grass, the moss again, sticks, pussy willow buds, chalk, luckily I got them all before she did, except for the chalk.

She is so interested in what Corbin is doing. He has been doing very well with her, although he does not really like it.

And she can climb the stairs... Which means I can't leave her for a second because that concrete is HARD!

A little late but this little bug is 8 MONTHS!! Our computer is again full of pictures so I was delaying uploading some...but I just couldn't resist doing a post about playing outside.

This little girl is a spit fire! But I can't even tell you how much I love her. Oh my heart! My love for both of them grows so much as they start to really interact with each other. Corbin just makes her laugh like no other. She is VERY interested in knowing what he is doing. She now knows his name. When I say, where is Corbin, she looks around. She is also very interested in seeing what he is playing with. That is the one area where he does not like her.

She signed "All done" today. She is also responding to "how big is Ellie?" and she raises her hands. It's so cute! She has also learned to clap. She is so proud of herself. I think she almost has nurse down too.

She has learned how to climb o the trampoline. She fell one time and since then, has gone to the edge and then made all this noise for me to help her down. It was amazing how quick she learned. She almost always has something in her mouth while crawling around! It's so cute!

As you can see by the food one her sweat shirt, she is a messy eater! She really wants to feed herself these days. As long as I give her something to eat with her hands then I can shovel more food in. Her recent favorites are tofu, sardines, puffs, and asparagus. And as usual, fruit.

She is my little love bug! I have also been trying to be more consistent with her regarding nursing and sleeping. It was so easy with Corbin because there was only one of him. She is constantly getting shuttled here and there. But after being gone all day for our PD class, it made me realize that I could cut out a nursing and try to get her to have better naps while we are at home. I know I am also wanting her to put herself to sleep better and have others put her to sleep. So I have begun not nursing her down in the morning even though we did cry it out to get to to sleep better at night she almost always get's nursed down. Because I was inconsistent and sometimes she was asleep when I put her down and sometimes just drowsy, she was still crying a lot at times. So after only 3 days of crying and not for too long, she just nuzzles down into her lovey has a few whimpers and is asleep! I am now trying to nurse her when she gets up. At first she had a hard time with it but now is great! She doesn't want to nurse quite as much even and sometimes wants more about an hour or two later so we are now working on that. At afternoon nap I am nursing her because it's usually been 3-4 hours since waking up and usually only nursing once. I also put Corbin down first and I don't want to her to make too much noise. So far it's been going really well with all these changes. This last week her naps have also been longer...now if I could only get her to sleep later than 6 am! I think I also might try to drop our night feeding after this weekend....

This will be my black mail when Corbin is 17! He just loves to dress up and this was what he decided to wear the other day! Ha! Later he found his cowboy hat and badge and it was a complete outfit!

And I was just going to upload photos and not write much!

Positive Discipline

Adam and I recently took a two day class at Bellingham Tech School from one of my favorite parenting educators, called Positive Discipline. It's based on the book Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson. I have taken many parent/child classes with BTC since Corbin was 8 weeks old. It's been one of the places I have met such awesome mamas and babies. We have recently just finished our last Two's class with Corbin (they end at age 3) and are gearing up to take the Sibling's class. We recently read the book PD in my mom's book group. I wanted Adam to take this class with me as I do most of the reading and taking classes and wanted him to hear it from someone else so we could talk about it and have a more purposeful parenting discussion. Our friends Aimee and Eric also took the class.

We wanted to take this class to add to our tool belt for Corbin (and ultimately Eliza too). Although he is doing great, there are times when I, personally, feel like I could react better to his behaviors. I tend to not be as patient as I should and react too strongly or yell which doesn't help the situations. PD is the idea that we don't have to make our kids feel bad to make them do better. You are not punishing them but disciplining them and ultimately helping them gain self-control, problem solving, and self-confidence. You are loving yet firm. You use encouragement not praise, kids have "jobs" to help them be a part of the family, there are family meetings, and more. There is a sense of mutual respect for children and parents together. Kids do not rule the household but do have a say (but not full vote) in many decisions within the household.

One example that really stood out for me was, you can have the same situation with almost the same consequence just approached differently. If Corbin hits his sister, we could yell and say "you need a time out, you cannot hit your sister, say sorry. Do you understand why you can't hit her?" and then take him up stairs, tell him to be quiet and he can't come out of time out till we say. We might also continue with the mini lecture, yell, and lose our cool as he is crying and screaming, having his own melt-down. With PD you might say "we don't hit in our family". You remain calm. Say "It looks like you need some time to yourself till you are ready to be with us again." Then calmly take him to his room. Give him a hug and then leave. He can do whatever he needs to calm down. If he throws a fit, you say "would you like me to carry you upstairs or do you want to walk?" Basically you remain calm, don't yell, don't lecture (neither of you is able to really get anything while your emotions are high). You are loving but firm. These are our rules and I love you even if you decide to make poor choices. At a later time, we could discuss how things could have gone differently but it needs to be when everyone is calm and not in melt-down mode. Our culture seems to think we need punishment in order to make out kids behave. I know I have fallen into this too. It's a major shift in thinking. One major point is that you are not being a passive parent when using PD. You are saying here are our boundaries. Here is how we solve problems. Here is how we learn to have self-control. We do have to say "No" but we also have to say "yes" I love you and this is how we can make it better.

Some of the basic tools behind PD that really resonated with me were; using kindness and firmness at the same time, acknowledge the feelings but don't let bad feelings determine your choices, positive time outs for me and Corbin, avoid piggy backing -trying to solve problems when we are "hot", use limited choices but choices, family meetings, hugs when upset (or not), take care of yourself-you cannot parent when you are not feeling good yourself-, decide what we will do not make our child do.

We also looked at long range parenting goals vs. short term solutions. This was big for me because I really see how I think this worked for me and my parents. Even though it's so easy to rescue our kids, do things for them, protect and control them. I ultimately want Corbin to be independent, make good decisions, feel trusted, share and respect others ideas and feelings, feel empowered, and be creative. We are laying these foundations right now. We are setting the boundaries and yet allowing him freedom and choices within those boundaries. We are allowing him to see that he will fail sometimes, to take calculated risks, ask what and how questions, and feel good about himself. I really struggle with seeing parents who enable their children. I see the effects of this when I work with middle school students but it starts right now when they are young. I see this in parents who rescue, do too much for their kids, give them too much, over-indulge them with things and emotions, can't say no, etc. I know their intentions are well meaning but they are not teaching their kids valuable life lessons. We talked about over-indulgence not just being about giving your kids too many things but almost "loving" them too much. It was very powerful to think about.

Another piece of the class that really struck a cord for me was the difference between praise and encouragement. We think we need to praise out kids. I find myself praising Corbin all the time. "Wow, what a good job. You did great buddy! I love this. Wow, you are so smart! I am SO proud of you. You are such a good boy!" While there is time for these types of statements what they are telling our kids is that we are placing value on what they are doing/telling/showing us. The focus is on the approval of a finished product. The locus of control is external. It teach them to look for our approval instead of what they think. Long range effects are depending on others, fear of failure, and looking to "please" us. Examples of encouragement are "Wow, tell me about it. Thank you! YOU did it! How do you feel about it? I love you no matter what. I see that you____. I notice____. You are working very hard on ____" Basically being very descriptive and encouraging the effort behind their work instead of the final product. It changes the locus of control to internal. It teaches them how to think, not what to think. It fosters self-confidence, self-reliance, and self-respect. And it's so HARD! But we have really been trying to use it with Corbin. We know he is bright. We know he does a really good job at some things, we hope he will do well in life but we also want him to learn that he will need to put effort into his work/play/life not just be expected to be smart. I recently just read a great article in the National Education Association magazine about using it in the classroom. There was an exerpt from the book "Nurture Shock" which is on my to read list. It was really fascinating. Adam felt he could really use it in his classroom too.

We also learned about family meetings which we are hoping to start soon. We are just going to start with weekly appreciations for each person in the family instead of a "real" family meeting and problem solving. Corbin is also starting to have regular "jobs". His first job each day is to turn off his night light before we go down stairs. We are trying to think of another regular job for him. I am going to try to come up with some cool posters with pictures to help him see what his "jobs" are. And a poster to help him think of things to do when I cannot play with him. We are entering a whole new phase of parenting, and it's exciting!

Another point was that balance is SO important. If one person in a family is taking up too much family resource the whole family is out of wack. At times I have been feeling burnt out lately. I know that I need to get my balance back. Mom (and dad) needs time too. If the kids are taking too many emotional resources, we need to get it back so that everyone is getting something.
I also learned it's ok for me to take a positive time out. I cannot be in control and think clearly if I am not calm :-)

Wow, that was a lot. We knew a lot of it already but it was still a really great class. It was good to spend time with Adam talking about our parenting strategies. We really need to be pro-active in our parenting. We have bright kids who will keep us on our toes! It was good to spend a whole day (minus lunch for a nurse session) away from the kids. We even got to go out on a date! The kid did great. They learn we always come back and that others can take care of them too. Thanks Kevin & Meghan and Susan and Mark for coming up to help us out! Now I am going to start on the book "PD for the pre-school Years"! It's exciting!

For now

I have lots to blog about for but now enjoy these two videos of Corbin and Eliza :-)

Bathroom

Bathroom is done. Well almost done. I have to patch the old towel rack holes and then do a quick touch up of paint. But other than that I am DONE! I also need to figure out where to put the laundry detergent but I think it looks great. We used some paint from the hall instead of choosing and paying for more paint. We picked Marmoleum and I REALLY like it! Then I added some color by painting the cabinet blue and bringing in some other colors that were already in the rug. New light fixtures and towel rack also make it feel new. Although we found some other major wiring problems while trying to put in the new light fixtures...but we are not going there now. Ugh. This house is full of things like that.

It's more cramped than we were hoping. At first the hoses and such were ugly and showing but then we put up a curtain. Chris did a great job. It was more than we were expecting but I think we will be glad it's done. Here are the shots.

Before

Done!

Done done done!

And we had poop on our arms

Fun times today. Fun times. And yes, she got poop on her arm today. Enter mom with two kids going through the Costco parking lot in the freezing cold wind. Corbin is crying because he fell and banged his elbow and now does not want to sit in the cart. Mom tries to lift Corbin into cart with Eliza on her front in the Ergo (imagine unknown poop squishing). Run into the warmth of Costco and start to transfer Eliza from Ergo to seat in cart. Hmmm...what's that smell? Look down. Eliza has a HUGE wet brown spot on her shirt. Ahk. So much so that I am carrying her all funny so as to push the cart (with Corbin in it) and not get poop on me, the cart, or anyone else. Try to navigate my way through Costco, back through the lines, to the bathroom all while holding a baby about a foot from my body! Some people looked at me like I was crazy. Others gave me a knowing smile. Costco bathroom is one of those bathrooms where you cannot take your cart in, or you will block everything. The changing table is by the sinks, blocking the way. Still holing Eliza a good distance away, I try to get Corbin out of the cart. This is one of those moments I wondered what people would do if I just left him there. He was contained. I could have strapped him in and just walked around the corner to change Eliza but no, I decided to take him with me. I start to strip Eliza down. Of course I do not have a change of clothes on me. I notice it's not on her jacket. Good. It's only a small amount on her sweat shirt. Good. It's all over her onsie. Ugh. There is a small part on her pants. Good. At least she can have her pants, sweat shirt and jacket on. She's a second kid, she can handle a little poop on her pants and sweat shirt in the name of warmth. I pull her onsie over her head. It's all the way up her back, not just over the diaper on her lower back. I mean on her WHOLE back. On her arm! On her arm! Near her neck. Good God! And when I actually get to taking off her diaper, there is barely anything in her diaper. It's only on her body outside her diaper! And while all this is happening Corbin is running around the bathroom like a crazy two year old (oh right, same thing). She wants to try to crawl off every time I let go trying to grab Corbin. Ugh. Why did I not leave him in the cart? When I finally have her stripped and re-diapered, Corbin takes off out the door of the bathroom. Corbin! Corbin? CORBIN! Little stinker. He didn't get too far and then just hid behind the cart. I should have strapped him in. I should have. Yep. Fun times. I should have also just bought a new outfit at Costco because she smelled like poop for the rest of the trip. When we got back to the car, there was that same smell on the car seat. Great! When we went to the library, she stunk up the whole place and then pooped again. And then again. Hmm... maybe those Cherrios were not good for her yet. I have no idea.

So I decided to give her broccoli and rice cereal Uma style. She really wanted to feed herself. And just now that broccoli came out again. Wow, that was fast. Yep still talking about baby poop.

Ski weekend

We had our 6th annual ski weekend this past weekend. Really it should be called eating, kid chaos, drinking, eating, hanging out, staying up too late, and some skiing weekend. What started out with just three kidless couples has now turned into 5 couples all with kids. There were 3 under one year olds, three 2.5 year olds, and a 4.5 year old! Crazy, chaotic, but fun!

We rented a house in Plain with 4 bedrooms and a game room. We definitely lucked out and got the master suite. Corbin slept in the walk in closet and Eliza in the master bathroom. We got very little sleep from staying up too late and getting up early with Eliza. We got in 3 ski days, which was much more than last year. The first day was at Lake Wenatche State Park and was pretty short. There is very little snow in the Leavenworth area this year. I wore Eliza on the Ergo for the first time for a little bit and she had fun. Corbin went down some awesome hills with the help of me. Once Brody took his skis off, so did Corbin. The second day we split up girls and guys. It was our friend Aimee's first time x-country skiing. She loved it! The girls went skiing in the morning and the boys stayed home with the kids, except Jill and Paul. Then we switched. The girls definitely got the good deal but we were grateful for the dads :-) The third day we took all the kids skiing. Overall it was a good mix of skiing, sledding, relaxing, and of course eating.

VIDEO FIRST DAY

Becky always seems to be the pied piper with the kids!

Jill, Paul, and Miles skiing.

The ladies; Jill, Becky, me, Jen, and Aimee.

SLEDDING

After nap I actually got some good snuggles with my always moving kiddos!

Becky with the boys again!

A new generation of girls!

Miles was not too excited about taking a bath with Eliza.

Ellie and Uma needed a bath after that meal!

BATH TIME

Daddy and Corbin snuggling up to either Toy Story 2 or They Might Be Giants kids video.

SKIING

*** The bathroom is coming along... pictures when it's finished.

Bathrooms and Love

Our house is one on going project. On my list of projects that I want done but are not are... finish trim in all rooms without it (6), finish the top step of the stairs with wood floor, finish the stairway room, put in french doors to outside from play room, remodel kitchen, add front deck/sitting area NOT remodel kitchen bathroom. But here we are less than a week from our washing machine being broken to remodeling our bathroom to accommodate a laundry room. Huh?

It went like this. Our washer seemed to be making an awful lot of noise while on it's final spin. We just though maybe it was out of balance then one day it started leaking. I was about to do two loads of stinky diapers from full diaper pails. So we called someone to come and fix it. He came. he opened it up. He pulled out a broken part the size of a soft ball from our water tank. He said you might as well buy a new one because that is how much it will cost to fix this one. We asked why he thought it had happened. He said because you run it in an uninsulated back porch and the parts are made of plastic, which gets brittle when it's cold outside. You then run the washer and the plastic cracks and then breaks. Oh, great, we said. He said you might want to think about putting your washer inside somewhere. So hence, the remodel.

We have a full bath off our kitchen. It's the original bath but who really wants a full bath off your kitchen? We have used the shower maybe 3 times in the 4 years we have lived here. We use the toilet and sink daily but never the shower. We figured it would be relatively cheap (relatively) to just do some re-plumbing and take out the tub and put in the washer and dryer. Our friend Chris who is a carpenter/builder/remodeled is in-between jobs with his company, so he could do the work for us. It's a little beyond Adam's skill level and without my dad here to help, we decided to pay someone else to do it. We thought about taking the sink out to put in a utility sink but there is not enough room with the toilet too. We also know that on paper, having a half bath looks really good for re-sale. So the sink and toilet are staying.

Before- yesterday morning

Free entertainment!

Yesterday afternoon!

But now come the decisions. Ugh. Ugh. Double Ugh. We wanted to know what the floor underneath looked like before we decided what to do with the floor. Adam wanted to just put a cheap remminent or scrap of linoleum under the washer and dryer and leave the other old linoleum there. While that seems easy and cheap. I am so done with half finished things in our house. I know we won't ever finish it until we move out. NEVER. We are paying someone to do the work. Why not just pay a little bit more and have it finished before we put the new washer and dryer in? Exactly. So that is what we are doing. But know we need to pick what kind of floor. Ceramic ile or vinyl tile, or the green option, marmolium? Ugh, ugh, and double ugh. It's a small space. It's only a laundry/bath not a fancy place. My initial thought is vinyl tile...but then why not just look for a similar priced ceramic tile? And then today our Realtor suggested seeing about a remminent of marmolium for cheap. And yet, we have to work quick because Chris (our friend) is not working for his company now, so he has the time. So here we are trying to figure this out and have yet to be able to go and look at things because we only just decided, we have two small kids, our washer and dryer are coming tonight and so we can't go when Adam get's off. Have I mentioned we have two small kids who nap and eat and don't like to do things like shop for washers and dryers or flooring. Nope. So here we are. If you have any suggestions on flooring, let me know. I did like some of the vinyl tiles I picked as samples yesterday (5 minutes before Lowes closed). You can even grout them to make them look more real.

I decided to make my valentines edible this year :-) Corbin and Adam made me some super sweet cards for mine, as usual! And Corbin had fun making some for his grandparents and aunts and uncles, which I forgot to take pictures of.

Corbin had fun eating his, eating the raw dough, and the powdered sugar I used instead of flour to roll out the dough. He decorated some but then ate them and licked them. He did put the sprinkles on the top most right one, though.

7 months!

Happy 7 months to my little Eliza Jolie! What a gift you are! I am enjoying seeing you grow this month. Here is what our little girl is up to these days.

*Standing and pulling herself up onto EVERYTHING! She still struggles with the really tall stuff but loves all the small things to stand at; trampoline, activity block, bags, mommy's legs, baskets. She will do her army crawl really fast across the floor to get to something she can pull herself up onto. This girl wants to be vertical. And she is already slowly cruising around things too. She still has not figured out how to get down though...except by accidentally falling. She can move from sitting to crawling and is really trying to go from crawling to sitting.

*Two little bottom teeth! Ouch watch out. I am thinking there are more on the way too.

*She loves to eat! Yum. She is doing great with all her foods. She likes almost everything I give her. And she does really well with the different textures too. She has really been enjoying baby crack Organic Mum Mum's and just yesterday Barley Teething Biscuits. And Corbin has been reliving his love for them too...She is eating a definite lunch and dinner and sometimes breakfast.

*Giggles and smiles! She is just a cutie when it comes to smiles. She loves to giggle at her favorite thing, Corbin. And while crawling across the floor. And while standing up at the trampoline. And while playing pee-ka-boo on the changing table. And at her uncle Neal, who is staying with us for a while.

*Sleep is not her best thing. She is challenging me in ways Corbin did not, although I know she could be a lot worse. I am a more inconsistent this time around too. I am nursing her to sleep at all times unless she wakes up in the night at the wrong time, if she wakes up before 2 am, I usually don't get her unless she is REALLY upset. And then I try to not nurse her again till morning. Some mornings she will fall back to sleep once I bring her into bed with me. These last couple of mornings she has been up at 6 or 6:30 and not gone back to sleep. She goes to sleep at night anywhere from 6:30-8pm depending on when her last nap was

Her naps are all over the place. It drives me batty. Her morning naps are anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half but I can't get her to sleep past one 40 minute sleep cycle in the afternoon. I have to go back up and nurse her in the middle of her nap to get her to sleep again. I am also afraid she will wake up Corbin who is a light sleeper for naps (in the middle of the night he never wakes up when she cries). Since we had company and now Neal is staying with us I have not used the pack and play downstairs to see if that helps them both... she is in there now sleeping but she woke up after 40 minutes still so I went and nursed her. She didn't fall asleep again but I knew that 2:45 was too early to be up and make it till bedtime so I let her cry. She is asleep now. I guess I will have to try to use the pack n play more so that she won't wake up Corbin . Some days she would still love to take 3 naps! I just wish she would take more consistent and longer afternoon naps... ugh. But I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

*Tonight she was making the most diverse amounts of sounds that she has made yet after dinner. I am starting to hear some ddaaas, nunnna, and other sounds!

*We are signing with her but she doesn't sign anything back yet. So far we are just working on nurse, all done, more, eat, cat, dog and waving. She thinks the sign for all done is hilarious.

I don't want to sit still for a picture mom!

My two little bottom teeth!

I love to blow raspberries and stick out my tongue. It probably feels good on my teeth and gums.

Trying to take pictures with the blocks this month was almost impossible. She just wouldn't sit still. She is on the go, almost more than Corbin was, if that is possible.

Gryffin has been slightly interested in her lately. He has let her touch him a couple of times.

Ha! Look at me, I am standing!

Love you little Ellie Belly!

***Some Corbin news

Corbin has a book with a magnet drawing pad (like the etcha-sketch) that he can draw and then erase. We were reading the story the other night and he said he wanted to draw Buzz (Buzz Light Year from Toy Story). He looked at the picture and then drew his first REAL picture. He drew a big circle and then legs and arms and dots for Buzz's buttons. I was so excited. He did it a couple more times before he started to say he did it wrong... I guess I was giving him a little too much praise. So the next morning we showed dad. Here is what he drew. Sorry it's kinda hard to see...

Buzz has really LONG arms in this one.

Here is the best one!