I have always been really bad with expectations. I usually have one expectation and then another thing happens and I am usually disappointed or learn to adjust to what actually happened. And as usual I had an idea of what this whole birth was going to be like. I am in no way disappointed with how it went, it just wasn't what I expected. Corbin was a week early and so I automatically thought she would be a week early too. Three of my friends who had second babies were all also early. It didn't help that people at work were saying, "you look like you are ready to pop now. Are you sure you still have (blank) left"...Everything with this pregnancy seemed to be further along. So I began expecting an early delivery. Second expectation, it would be a fast easy labor. My midwife said that you can usually cut your first labor in half for your second baby. Corbin was 7 hours of active labor. So I expected somewhere in the 3 hour mark. I wanted both my mother and mother-in-law to be there again but I knew this might not be possible since it could go so much faster. So my mom planned on staying home and coming up later after she was born. I got a back up helper to be available if Susan couldn't be here, so it wasn't just Adam and I. So as you know, the end of school came. Corbin's birthday came. A wedding we wanted to go to came and went. No baby. A week early came on June 30th. Still no baby. Melissa was scheduled to take Corbin when the baby came and since we all expected her to be early, Melissa had made plans to go camping the following weekend. So we asked Susan to come up and stay with us for a while and wait...She came up on July 2nd. Still no baby. I started go go on walks, ate Eggplant Parmesan, ate greasy burger food at Lee's Drive In, nested. Still no baby. July 6th, my due date, came and went. Susan had some appointments back at home that she needed to go to the following week. We were sure that as soon as she left the baby would come. I decided to go to Prenatal yoga one more time on Sunday night...I hadn't been in over a month.
We were doing lots of floor poses because people were tired. At one point I thought I felt a small gush but then nothing else came. Then another gush. But nothing compared the gushes I felt when my water broke with Corbin. I figured I was just leaking small amounts of fluid. I was hoping that I was not leaking so much that people would notice wet pants or anything :-) I went to the bathroom before I left and was pretty sure my water had not broken, at least all the way. Once I got home I knew labor was coming soon, finally! I called Winni, my midwife, she said to call her again when my contractions were lasting a minute and getting hard to talk through. She was pretty sure I would have a baby within 24 hours. We thought about having Corbin go to Becky's for the night but decided to let him get to sleep here and see how it went. She knew what was going on and would have the pack and play set up, just in-case. I also let Melissa know that we might need her the next day. By about 10 pm I started having contractions. Of course I couldn't sleep even though they were sporadic and pretty light. I managed to get about 45 minutes of sleep before they started to wake me up at about 2:30 am. Corbin woke up right as I was waking up. Adam went in and he fell back to sleep pretty quickly. We decided to go downstairs so we wouldn't wake him up any more. Once we were down stairs we started timing my contractions. They were still not quite a minute long and about 10 minutes apart. They got stronger as I walked around and would weaken when I stayed still. We called Winni at about 4:30 am. She called us back and said she would be there about 6am. By the time she got there they were about 3- 5 minutes apart. I expected that I was pretty dilated by that point but when Winnie checked me, I was only 3 cm, which is what I had been earlier in the week. Although she didn't tell me till later, she stretched me to about 5 pretty easily. At that point I got into the tub to labor for a while. My contractions would slow down every once in a while and since my water had not broken yet she asked me if she wanted her to brake it to speed it up. I was getting more tired by this point. I was not finding the tub quite as comfortable as I had at the birth center. Adam got in with me for a while. We played some music but generally I thought things would have been a little bit easier. At this point I was also more aware of what was going on during the whole thing than I was during Corbin's whole labor. I decided that we would wake up Corbin and have Melissa take him for a while and then brake my water once he was gone. Melissa came and woke Corbin up at about 8:30. I went out to say good-bye to him but he was so excited to see Melissa and Sam that he hardly noticed me. He did say "mommy taking shower" because I had my bathrobe on. He obviously didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. He left the house at about 9 am. Winni then tried to break my water. Not much ended up coming out and I still was not dilated any more. She was able to stretch me again to about 7.5-8 cm and once that happened my labor picked up pretty fast. I got more uncomfortable in almost any position and especially in the tub. I was much more aware of what was going on this time around than I was my first labor with Corbin. I think I also had a different idea of how it would go with number two and so far it was not going that way. As I started to enter transition, it got pretty intense for a while and I started to get really tired and just wanted it to all go away (which never really happened with Corbin) almost to the point of not wanting the pain. I ended up going and spending some time on the toilet to change positions and encourage it to move faster. I felt nauseous but never ended up throwing up. During transition I did not want to be in the tub and ended up going to the bed. I just wanted to lay there. At one point I just put my head in the pillows and asked if I could lay on my stomach.Winnie, Adam, and my mother-in-law were all trying to encourage me to not "give up" and not get too "comfortable" that we were almost there. Winni told me later that she just had to get me to the next stage without getting too comfortable where things would slow down. I then laid on my side which helped. Winni's assistant showed up right around this time. Earlier Winni had been calling around because her usual assistant was busy with a prior committment and she had to call around to a bunch of different people. Once I started to have the urge to push, I didn't push as hard as I could at first. I think I also said at this point that I just wanted her to slip out without having to push. Ha! At one point I remember saying that I was in the worst position to give birth in and they all asked me if I wanted to move. I said "NO" I just knew gravity wasn't working with me. I tried to imagine an inner animal in me to let out my screams, like my friend Liliana but nothing came to mind. I just tried to let it all out. Adam was by my side and Susan and Laura Lee, the assistant, were each holding my legs in the air. I reached down at one point and felt her head. It was all soft and squishy, not at all like I thought it would feel. Again, I remember being much more aware of how everything felt and what everyone was saying around me that I did with Corbin. I only pushed for about 17 minutes, although it felt MUCH longer. She was finally born at 11:07 am. They immediately put her on my chest. I remember asking to make sure she was a girl, just in-case :-) They rubbed her all up and put blankets on us. I let her try to find my nipple and she began to suck vigorously. I birthed the placenta and they stitched me up. It hurt just as much as with Corbin, although I knew what to expect with this one. I only tore a small amount this time, not like with Corbin, who came shooting out. They finally weighed and took a look at her while I was all done. She weighed 8 lbs 1 oz and is 19.5 inches long. They also managed to change all the sheets while I was still in bed. It was so nice to be at my own house! As everyone cleaned up all around me, I got to eat some fresh raspberries from our garden and food. Winni gave us all the newborn instructions, which we had of course forgotten and then she was off. We were at home! Susan and Adam helped me move upstairs to our own bed and we all snuggled in.
It was really wonderful to be at home. Our Birth Center experience with Corbin was also wonderful and I did love that tub but I have to admit that it was nice to not have to go anywhere and to know that I could have a wonderful, healthy, safe, and natural birth at home.
My expectations were to to have an early, quick, and easy birth. I should have known better. Looking back I also think I was so anxious to go into labor that I probably was willing things to go faster than they actually were. I don't know if that is possible but since my contractions would be regular and then sporadic when I slowed down or got tired. I wonder if I had just let everything happen at it's own pace, it would have been different. Who knows. Corbin's labor was so straight forward; water breaks, contractions, transition, and birth all within 7 hours that because this one didn't go as straight forward, I think it seemed longer but in reality, once Winni tried to break my water, things moved pretty quickly. Also, I think I just wanted him to slip out. Ha! Like labor wasn't going to be painful. Ha!
One thing that I didn't expect that has been nice, is the recovery. Because I didn't tear as much and my body knew what it was doing, the recovery has been so much better! Having a toddler that you need to be up and about for might also have something to do with it. I am up and about much faster than I was with Corbin. On the other hand, the hardest part is not getting enough sleep and still having to function because of Corbin. I have been so tired and emotional. My hormones have been much more all over the place than they were the first time. I have cried much more. It's SO hard. I won't go too much into that now. Maybe another time.
For now, I am loving her more each day. She is starting to focus more on us with her eyes. Her night time sleep pattern has gotten better. She is giving me a 4 hour stretch and then 2 more 2-3 hour stretches till morning.
Ok. This post is epic. Soon we will post pictures of her latest fashion...
2 comments:
Thanks for sharing Erin, what a journey!!! xoxo
Thanks so much for sharing, Erin. I'm going to try to learn from your experience and not have certain expectations (although I already do...how can you not?!?!). Everyone keeps telling me it will be easier and quicker than my labor with Camden, but obviously that isn't always the case. Glad to hear that you're recovering well though. She's a beauty!
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