Conflict

Corbin and I have had a lot of conflict lately. It's been bringing me down on my parenting. He is not making good decisions. I am not making good parenting responses.  I feel like I am stuck in a 4 1/2 year old rut.  I need to dig out some books again. We need to bring back our Family Meetings to give him some positive power. I need to take more deep breaths. I am sure there are a lot more needs or things that could be done. I am definitely loving working more this year but I also think this is one of the downsides of it. I am tired. He is tired. We are all tired. Not an excuse, just the truth.  I feel like I just need to purge some of these feelings... this is a purge post. It's not all bad, as I will tell at the end. Just need to know I am not alone...

He has been spitting lately. Ugh. It's driving me CRAZY! And guess who decides to copy him. He does it to be funny. He does it to be mean. He does it to me. He does it to Adam. He does it to Eliza. Help! How do I stop it? 

One minute he is loving on his sister, the next, he pokes her in the eye. Eliza's new phrase, "Corbin's being mean..." He is the bossy one but she doesn't always just take it and do what he says... equals conflict. Arg! The minute we step into the house after school/work/daycare it's non-stop. You cannot leave the two of them alone without fear of one of them killing the other... add to that a HUGE mountain of couch pillows each night and it could end in disaster. 

We have been having some real power struggles lately. I am engaging in them, which is probably what is making them worse. It's amazing how easily I can find myself in one before I know it. And then I feel bad. He feels bad. We both feel bad. He seems to get over it fast than me. 

I know part of it is just him growing up, trying to figure out his place in this world. Eliza is becoming more interactive, more verbal, more imaginative, more independent. Thus taking some of the attention away from him. He loves it on one hand because he now has a play mate but he also has to share us more now too. Some of it's amazing. Tonight at dinner, we were having the best time just watching them. Eliza is having these strings of conversations about pretend things. Her toddler hood is going away. Corbin has so much spirit and determination. He tries to rationalize everything. He has a reason for everything. Literally everything. Sometimes its exhausting. Sometimes it's amazing! 

And then there are nights like tonight...start off bad and then end up better... We had a HUGE battle last night (every night) with him getting his PJ's on for bed. He wastes time. We loose book time. Last night it took him forever to get his clothes off, go pee, get his diaper on, PJ's on, etc. So when he chose his 2 books for bed and one was really short, he got really mad. He wanted 3 books since one was so short... I said, "NO".  He wasted time getting ready. Then he poked Eliza in the eye for no reason. We had to talk about that for a while. Basically, we did not have time for another book because he had wasted time. Screaming. Kicking. Whining. Pleading. Yelling. Crying. Everything. Nope, my answer was still no. I said, "tomorrow, let's work on getting ready faster and then if we have time for a 3rd book, we can read it." He calmed down enough for me to say "I love you" and to tuck him in... and then I left to work out. I know Adam had to go up again... 

So tonight we talked about not wasting time. Getting 3 books. Getting ready in a reasonable speed. Nope. SLOW. Even with help. Even with encouragement. I gave a warning. I went to help Eliza. I told him he had lost that 3rd book again. We could still read 2 but not 3. He lost it again. This time he slammed his door and said he was never coming out of his room. He yelled through the door. I am never coming out. Don't come in. I will put my self to sleep. I don't need your help. And on and on....Wow, this was a new tactic. So I said quietly through the door that his tooth brush was waiting for him  and that when he was ready, I would love it if he would join me and Eliza for some stories in her room. He said. "NO. I am never coming out. Not until my birthday. Not ever. I won't come out till my birthday. Then I will have my birthday and you will bring my presents to my room but I won't come out till then (his birthday is in June)."  So Eliza and I started reading.  I heard him come out. Go and brush is teeth. Then quietly he came over to us. Just wanted to see what we were reading. I told him he was welcome to read with us. He started to walk away... then he turned back and said. "Ok, I will read this one story with you. Then I am going back in. I don't want you to tuck me in. I will do it by myself. I am never coming out of my room." So we read the story. Then he said he would go back to his room, until he saw what we were reading next. "Ok, I will read this one too. But then I am going in my room, will tuck myself in. And never come out." 

I told him, "I will miss you if you never come out. What will you do for food? What will you do if you get hungry?" 

He replied after thinking for a bit. "I will stand at the top of the stairs and yell for food. Then you will bring it to me and I will eat it in my room." 

Hmm...Ok. "Well, what about school, won't you miss seeing your friends? Or going to your friends house? Or being outside, riding your bike?" 

"You can arrange play dates my friends can come here and play in my room."

"What about going to your friends houses? Like Brody, Alden or Lux's?"

"I will go to their houses only. Then come back to my room. They are my best friends, so I will do that. And I won't go back to Pre-K, not until kindergarten and after my birthday".

"Wow, I would really miss you that whole time. It might get boring."

"Nope, I will be fine. I will tuck myself in. Let's read more". 

Well... ok then... so we finished the next book. 

He looked at me, said, "I am going to go and tuck myself in. And read myself a book. But could you stop by on your way down?..."

"Yes, of course."

After putting Eliza down, I went into his room. He had gotten into bed, turned on his night light, and was reading quietly. He seemed very proud of himself. We had a quick snuggle, I said I was sorry we had been fighting so much and that I really would miss him if he stayed in his room till his birthday. I said I love you and good night. He told me he loved me too. 

I hope he comes out tomorrow :-)

Winter Play

We went to Bend to have some winter fun with my parents after Christmas. Luckily there was lots of snow, even down in town. We arrived in the dark but the kids saw snow and wanted to play. After dinner my dad, Buppa, took them out to play before bed. Corbin was in 7th Heaven!  Eliza also loved it so much more than last year. She even got a new "PINK" snowsuit from my parents for Christmas, which of course, she loves. 

We decided to pack it all in. We went sledding first and then skiing, which we could have been better planned but oh well, next time. 

All bundled up and ready for some sledding!

Corbin was so brave going down all by himself! 

He could barely see out of  his hat!

Then we headed skiing on Corbin's new skis and Eliza on Corbin's old ones. They were so cute getting on their skis! 

"Here Ellie, let me pull you."

"This is how you do it. Watch me."

My two little love bugs all bundled up and ready to go! 

And of course, lots of time to play in the snow. 

Corbin's skis were really fast. At first he did not like them, he kept falling but he was getting the hang of it. 

More playing in the snow. 

On Sunday we decided to ski to the cabin for lunch. Corbin skied almost the whole way and then the whole way back. 

The whole family! 

He skied all the way back. When he was getting pretty tired, he met another  girl who is from Bham and went to his pre-school! 

Going downhill with Buppa. 

Eliza on her way down. 

Eliza helping Grammie Push the Chariot. 

Someone went by and said "did you see that. The grandma was pulling the Chariot, not the parents!" She is such an awesome Grammie! 

Daddy trying to help Ellie ski along...

Our little family at the end of the day! 

The 25 days of Christmas

The Christmas season has come and gone. What a whirl wind December was...and now it's on to a new  year. My goal is to do more blogging this year but before I can talk about this new year, I need to finish the old. 

We had a jammed packed December full of all kinds of fun and festivities.  We started the month off with our annual tree cutting at Manthey's Tree Farm in the county. Great trees (usually) for a great price. For some reason our tree this year started turning brown and losing it's needles really badly. We have never experienced this before and it was going bare by Christmas. 

Enjoying hot chocolate and cookies in the office. 

That night, we speed decorated our tree and then headed up to Lynden with some friends to enjoy the "Lynden Lighted Parade".  This is the 3rd year we have gone and the kids just love it. Each year it's been either freezing cold or raining. This year it was both cold and rainy! It was so amazing to see so many families out in the Pacific Northwest weather enjoying a parade in the dark and rain. But it is so worth it to see the kids faces just light up when they see things like HUGE combine harvesters and fire trucks completely lit up with Christmas lights! 

Eliza and her buddy Uma all bundled up. 

The kid crew waiting for the parade to begin. 

The Whole gang enjoying the show! 

A few other things we added to our Christmas celebrations this year was an Advent Calendar. I don't choose to do this for religious reasons but more to help the kids count down the days with fun activities or books. Adam was super on-top of it this year and pre-reserved a bunch of Christmas and holiday books from the library. We bought one new book, some new Christmas jammies, a few pieces of Chocolate, new Christmas ornaments, and then a bunch of fun activities for them to do. It was really fun. Here are some examples of what we did.

~"How the Grinch Stole Christmas"

~See the Christmas lights at James St. Estates

~Make Gingerbread houses with friends

~"Zelda and Ivy's Christmas"

~Watch Prep & Landing the movie

~"Daddy's Christmas Book"

~Go see Santa

~Make snow flakes

~Hot Chocolate & Candy canes

~"Christmas Tree for Pyn"

~Chocolate

~Go to Jill & Paul's Christmas Party and watch Rudolph

~A new pair of jammies

~"The Christmas Magic"

~"Number one Toy Expert"

~Watch Prep & Landing Two

~"An Orange for Kranke"

~"The Night Before Christmas"

In the middle of the month we celebrated Christmas with Adam's side of the family here at our house. They came up and had a super yummy brunch of monkey break, egg strata dish, fruit salad, and pear bread. Then we opened presents. This was the Christmas of Princesses and Legos. 

Eliza has hit her girly princess phase. It's crazy how fast it came on and how genderized it is. I could write a whole post on this fascinating this is... 

Eliza in her new fairy tutu. 

Corbin scored on some awesome legos! 

This is Eliza's 3rd pink tutu style dress. She wore them all at the same time....

Corbin and Grammie Susan working on his new legos in their matching shirts!

  We ventured to see Santa and get pictures with him. This is one awesome Santa. He has a real beard, wears funky Santa shirts, and says things to the kids, like "Wow, you have really grown since last year, Corbin!" Which Corbin of cours just loves.  I love the idea of Santa. I love the magic he brings to the kids. I think it's important to talk about the spirit of giving while also talking about him. I don't remember mad at my parents when I found out about Santa but instead being excited to now be able to help give and bring the excitement to my brother for a couple more years. Eliza keeps saying she would like to either be a Princess or Santa when she grows up. At first, they are both impossible, but then I realized that she indeed will be a kind of Santa one day and be able to share the love and magic of giving. 

Of course, as soon as we saw Santa, she changed her tune. She did NOT want to sit on his lap or have anything to do with him...

We finally got her to let go of my hand and sit still for one shot! 

 Corbin gave Santa his list, which included a remote control dragon, a Batman that can turn into a bug, a Nutcracker, a woopie cushion, and another remote controlled vehicle (I should have taken a picture). None of which really exist, except the Nutcracker. Eliza had been saying before we went to see Santa that she wanted a princess. Sometimes a real princess that will sleep in bed with her and sometimes a doll princess with either a pink or blue dress, depending on the day. And a Santa. Of course she would not tell Santa this, but we said he knew anyway. 

The whole family (minus Neal). 

We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with Adam's family. I got a new sewing machine from them, so now I have to get crafty and sew a few things! Adam scored on some movie tickets, bike gift certificate, and new Bellingham United scarf. Thanks Gang!! We also had fun celebrating with some family friends, The Stoners! Everyone came over and we ate lots of cheese and cracker based appetizers and enjoyed seeing both of our extended families all together.  

My family came up here for Christmas. True to my word, we did not have to travel on Christmas! Thank you both Families!! Jed, Kara, and Maeve flew in from Denver and my parents drove up for the weekend. Of course they also brought their skis! And it had been snowing a ton in the mts. We headed up towards Mt. Baker to get some Cross Country Skiing in. We were expecting skier made tracks only since it had been snowing so much but when we got there the groomer was actually out on the trails grooming. We only had classic skis but it was still nice to get out! 

We forgot an attachment for the Chariot, so Eliza got to go in the Ergo, which she loved of course! 

 Corbin did awesome and skied a really long way! 

Corbin and Grammie Dani! 

Going downhill with Buppa. 

After lunch, we let Eliza on Corbin's strap on skis so she could try. She is a natural! 

snowball fight with daddy. 

Playing in the snow. 

 It's amazing how fun playing in the snow is for kids. Eliza enjoyed it so much more this year because she could move around better in it. 

Making cookies with Grammie Dani. 

We had our annual Burritos and Beer for Christmas Eve dinner. Read the "Night Before Christmas" with illustrations by Tasha Tudor (NH Native) that was given to me on my first Christmas. Loaded up the stockings and headed to bed. Luckily the kids went to bed easier this year and even slept in till almost 8am! Best Christmas present ever! 

Woa, look at those stockings! 

Corbin sporting the "Stash"

Eliza's new scarf. 

A Princess!!!

 And Corbin got a Play Mobile Dragon (no remote control dragons for this house hold!). And of course each kid got their Nutcracker and Santa decorations for next year :-)

It was SO fun to have Jed and Kara here for Maeve's first Christmas! We got some more cousin love (but very few pictures, we were too busy!). 

Some Grammie Dani and baby Maeve time.

Kara and Maeve

The Whole family! 

 Thanks for such a wondeful Christmas! Corbin made out with a play mobile pirate ship and pirates, a whoopie cushion, new cross country skis and boots, lots of new books, and some new clothes. Eliza got some princess clothes, new snow suit, games, a water bottle, and lots of new books! We are pretty lucky and blessed!